Am I Okay?

The power of the pre-mortem: “Am I Okay?”

In the midst of our busy lives we all too often neglect the importance of checking in on those around us in order to ask a simple question with important and far-reaching consequences: “Are you okay?”

I think there is a more important question: “Am I Ok?” It is critically important that you take control of and responsibility for your own mental health. One of my favourite and most frequently used metaphors is that of driving to a destination versus being driven there as a passenger. With your hands on the wheel, you will remember how you got there. If you are a passenger, you may still get lost even after making the same journey many times.

Post-mortem versus Pre-Mortem.

You are more than likely quite familiar with the term post-mortem (the examination of a deceased person by an Anatomical or Forensic Pathologist to ascertain the cause of death). As a professional practitioner devoted to improving a lot of the living, you will hardly be surprised to learn that I regard that as being too little too late! I much prefer the idea and practice of what I like to call a pre-mortem. Simply put: A pre-mortem can do much to postpone your post-mortem.

And that is where the simple question, “Am I Okay?” will take you.

However, be warned; a thorough pre-mortem can be quite painful. Even though they are simple, the questions can be challenging. Taking action to change toxic behaviour is even harder. Some of the questions are obviously relevant to physical health and others to your state of mental well-being. Here is an example of some of the questions you should ask yourself:

Did I take a shower today?
Personal hygiene is crucial to mental and physical wellness. Washing your body is a great way to rinse out your head.
Have I eaten anything healthy in the past few hours?
Fresh fruit or vegetables in particular.
Have I had any water to drink in the past hour?
Adequate hydration is vital to your health on a multiplicity of levels.
Did I get enough sleep last night?
A well-rested body and mind improves health dramatically. Stick to a schedule and get the rest you need.
Have I been for a walk in the past 24 hours?
Walking outdoors for at least 20 minutes will boost your energy.
Is it daytime? Did I make my bed? Am I dressed?
The time-honoured Latin phrase carpe diem (seize the day) has echoed down the centuries for good reason. You’ll be happier and more productive if you get ready every day. No matter how hard it seems, grab the day by the horns!
Is it nighttime? Am I struggling to fall asleep?
Put away your phone, close your eyes, be still, and count your breaths. Like all things, healthy restful sleep comes with practice.
Have there been any changes to medication I might be taking?
If you are more irritable or anxious than usual it might be because you’re on a new medication (or alternatively it may be a sign that you need medication). As always it is best to consult your doctor.
Do I feel unattractive?
Before you negatively judge your looks, get cleaned up and dressed. Make an effort. Put your best foot forward. Taking care of yourself will boost your self-esteem.
Did I do something fun today?
Read, exercise, listen to music, dance. Whatever your notion of fun is, find time to do it.
Have I hugged someone recently?
Physical contact is critically important to a healthy body and mind. Hug your family, friends, or pets every chance you get.
Have I given someone a compliment in the past 24 hours?
Helping boost others self-esteem increases your own. It’s that simple.
Have I shared how I am feeling today?
Talking about your feelings, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, gives you a sense of control. It is a powerful antidote to the feelings of powerlessness that often feed depression.
Am I focused on the future or dwelling the past?
Focus on the future because you can influence, change and shape it. The past is an abstraction of the mind that you cannot change!
Do I have something to look forward to?
Having something to look forward to makes our problems seem much smaller.
Do I feel unproductive?
Start with a single, simple task: Make your bed. Do the laundry. Wash the dishes. You’ll be amazed at how much of a sense of control the little things can give you.
Have I had to make a big decision lately?
Your body and mind react naturally to change. Practice self-awareness and cut yourself some slack when you are facing tumultuous change.
Have I exhausted myself lately?
This can be physically, socially, emotionally, or intellectually. Like batteries, your mind and body need time to recharge.
How long has it been since I felt bad about myself?
Be self-aware. Tell that cruel relentless unremitting inner critic to shut up.
Have you talked to a counsellor?
Talking to a professional is not a weakness. It is common sense. Take time to find a counsellor who suits you and reach out to them in times of need.

As human beings, we thrive on connection and social interaction. By asking someone if they are okay, we convey our genuine interest and concern for their well-being. This simple act opens the door for honest and open communication, allowing individuals to share their struggles, fears, and challenges. By actively listening and providing support, we strengthen our relationships and build a sense of trust and understanding with others. When we take the time to ask “Are you okay?” we demonstrate that we are willing to be there for one another, fostering a sense of community and compassion.

The Three-legged Stool of Happiness:

Someone to love. Something to do. Something to look forward to.

I am a great advocate of keeping things simple. I believe that the metaphorical stool of happiness has three legs:

Someone to love.
Something to do.
Something to look forward to

Ask yourself about these three things often. With these factors in mind, having asked yourself, “Am I Okay?” and having conducted your own pre-mortem, you will be in a far better position to ask others if they’re okay and to be genuinely helpful. Furthermore, you will be in a far better position to help them, not only to understand the complexities of their own unique circumstances but also what actions they can take to aid their pursuit of happiness and mental wellbeing. If you have read this far, I am willing to bet my metaphorically bottom dollar that you will increasingly find yourself able to answer to the question, “Am I ok?” in the positive.

Going beyond the duty of care to nurture stronger, more resilient, more productive teams.

Mental health conditions cost Australian workplaces $10.9 Billion a year.

A BeyondBlue/PwC Report has shown that untreated mental health conditions cost Australian workplaces $4.7 billion in absenteeism, $6.1 billion in presenteeism, and $146 million in compensation claims. What’s more, recent research assessments, utilising a human capital approach, estimate the global economic burden of mental illness is skyrocketing from US$2.5 trillion in 2010 to US$6.1 trillion in 2030. Most of this burden was due to lost productivity, defined as absenteeism and presenteeism. In addition to these dire statistics, the Sydney Morning Herald recently reported that Australian workers report the highest burnout rates in the world. Furthermore, appearing before a parliamentary committee The Australian Medical Association has warned that our mental health services have been overwhelmed. Mental health admissions are the fastest growing hospital admission increasing at an average rate of 4.8% each year. Aftershocks of the Covid 19 pandemic continue to reverberate. Periods of lockdown further blurred the boundaries between work and home. We are now facing a perfect storm of unprecedented proportions and the consequences for Australian employers are grave.

“Embracing mental health at work is not only a moral imperative but also a strategic investment.”

Dr Mark Whittington

Consulting Psychiatrist

When questioned about the challenges facing Australian employers Dr Mark Whittington had this to say:

“It all boils down to united we stand divided we fall. Healthy reciprocal relationships are the critical key, not just to productivity at work, but to our health and happiness as individuals. I believe this to be a categorical imperative of nature. Witness the inspiring example of Belgian draft horses.

The average individual Belgian draft horse can pull, on average, about four thousand pounds. By yoking two of these magnificent animals together you might assume that you could double that amount to eight thousand pounds. You would be wrong. Something miraculous happens. The power of relationships multiplies that amount to sixteen thousand pounds! And it gets even more interesting. If you take two Belgian Horses that live together, know each other, and have lived a couple of years of horse life together, on average, the amount that they can pull together blossoms out to a jaw-dropping thirty-two thousand pounds! The quality and depth of their relationship allow them to go from sixteen thousand to thirty-two thousand pounds! But that’s not all. The world record was set by two brother horses that had spent their whole lives together. They pulled a record of no less than fifty-two thousand pounds! That’s the power of relationships!”

Mentally healthy people build supportive, resilient, productive relationships.

It is better by far to focus on the prevention of mental illness than to face the way more daunting task of putting people back together after they have gone over the metaphorical cliff of stress and burnout. Employers have much to gain by reaching far beyond the bare minimum duty of care to mental health support that creates both purpose and engagement. In light of the dearth of mental health services available from our overburdened system, we need to focus on giving people the tools they need to care for themselves and each other. Like the Belgian Horses, the return on investment in raising morale and esprit de corps while building stronger more resilient teams multiplies many times over.
Metaphorical Therapy’s Corporate Seminars deliver significant tangible benefits:

Improved personal wellbeing.

Empowerment and the feeling of being in control.
Self-confidence and self-esteem stemming from the mastery of a unique suite of proven practical tools.
Enhanced ability to cope with emotional and interpersonal problems.
The ability to work through the steps of processing emotion thus avoiding emotional explosion or implosion.
Improved understanding of interpersonal relationships and how to manage them.

Improvements in the workplace.

Prevention of mental illness.
A drops in absenteeism
A positive impact on productivity
Improved resilience
Acquisition of a set of an invaluable set of skills that enables workers to help not just themselves but each other.

Improvements at home.

Like ripples on a pond the mental health skills and strategies learned at work will extend embrace life at home – much to the benefit of your family life and society in general.
Relationships at work and at home are strengthened by sharing our tools and their practical application.
It’s much like learning a common language along that opens the door to a wealth of essential structured approaches that address the most common psychological problems while destigmatising the subject of mental illness.
The mastery of this suite of tools, particularly with regard to setting healthy, reasonable boundaries; empowers individuals to recognise and accept their limits. Problems are viewed in perspective and are therefore seen as being manageable rather than overwhelming.

By reaching beyond duty of care you can create an environment that encourages employees to thrive and raise morale by being mutually supportive. You can change mindset which is the key to changing everything. Employees who feel supported in their mental well-being are more motivated, engaged, loyal, and productive. What’s more, by prioritising mental health you can attract a diverse and talented pool of candidates while enhancing your reputation as an employer of choice. If you want to reduce absenteeism and presenteeism in the workplace while building stronger, more resilient more productive teams email us at seminars@metaphoricaltherapy.com.

We have received overwhelmingly positive feedback for our seminars and witnessed extremely high emotional engagement.

“In my role as Human Resources Director; I will definitely use this as a tool for conflict management, self-awareness and introflection exercises for both individuals and teams.”

Jackie B, Human Resources Director

“Complex concepts were made so much easier to understand. Feedback from staff was unanimously and overwhelmingly positive. It was interesting. It was even fun at times. What I liked most of all is that it drew us all a little closer together.”

Courtney S, CEO

“Changing behaviours alone doesn’t change results.

Experts have struggled to explain why 70% of organizational change efforts fail. Arbinger studies show that one critical reason is because too often efforts focus on behaviour rather than what drives behaviour: mindset. Once people see others with a new mindset, they willingly change their own behaviour. This change in mindset is the most effective way to achieve desired results.”

The Arbinger Institute

Changing Mindset Changes Outcomes

Going beyond the duty of care to nurture stronger, more resilient, more productive teams.

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